Your Christmas Day News Bulletin probably sounds like this

Every bulletin on the 25^th of December is basically the same…

Assuming you live in the UK, hardly anyone is paying attention to the news on Christmas Day.

Sorry, news colleagues.

Here’s the running order for every Christmas Day bulletin, every year, ever.

It practically writes itself.

[Note: this is tongue-in-cheek and is not referring to any specific story or year.]

Christmas Day Bulletin for [insert year]

1. A Bishop has said something.
2. A different Bishop has said something.
3. The Pope has said something.
4. The Queen is about to / has said something.
5. Natural disaster.
6. Accidental death.
7. Foreign war.
8. Soldiers eating lunch.
9. Babies have been born – even though it’s Christmas Day!
10. The Weather – it isn’t snowing.

Shuffle the order to repeat for the next hour.

If you are working, thanks for holding the fort.

If you are celebrating – have a wonderful day (and let’s be grateful if nothing serious happens).

Festive Felicitations!

• You may also like: Working in radio at Christmas.